When I was a student in college. If I failed a subject because I didn't commit my time at it, I did not study enough. If I passed a subject with an A, it was because I surely study hard. It was so easy to earn achievements that I gave myself like playing some games. But when I start working, I realized that to achieve my objectives and earn my "fake" achievements are not just about me doing things right, but it is every bits of the bigger picture.
It might be about difficulty evaluating my achievements. It might be about setting my objectives stupidly as a newcomer to this new level of life.
One tough thing to think about
Then I have to worry more about money, how much should I save, how to differentiate my needs and wants. I'm panic about the fact that I have only social security service coverage when I should have had some health insurance. I get stressed thinking about how things will work out when my dad retires later this year.
I lost my own life objectives for a big moment.
Another things I have lost is joy learning new things I have never known before in this computer field. I committed my workdays for my company's products and my company's clients and weekend I keep sleeping like 10 hours and wake up doing nothing. There should be a way to improve my skills and seeing many great people in this field doing something great always helps me.
One of my best friends once said that she wishes money never exists. I argued her so much about everything would be messed up without money as a medium for trading. But now as a grown up, I think deeper to that silly talk I have had in that day.
Money makes me miserable. If I don't have money to worry about, I will be freed, won't I?
So I need to have more money. At least, in a volume that I don't need to be over thought about it. In a volume that I can live on a normal life and buy some safety nets.
Those are why I'm leaving my current job at Volevi this month. To earn more money and get closer to the above statement, to get on track on what I really want to do, to learn more about this vast world of software development, and lastly, to be able to think about my own life objectives again.
Don't get anything wrong. I have quite a fun ride with Volevi. I learnt Swift and iOS development. I learned to meet with customers and gained much knowledge on handling them. (which I am getting better yet still poorly) They are so generous about everything. But as a situation changes, I feel more responsible to my family and my own dreams.
It was a hard decision for me and I think it would be for someone else in this position too.